Resolved: USA Next is full of shit

I know I am hardly alone in my outrage and disgust at USA Next’s loony-tunes Internet ad claiming the AARP hates our troops and supports gay marriage. Never mind that the AARP is a respected senior’s lobby, or that there is virtually no connection whatsoever of support for our troops (yeah, we support them, BRING THEM HOME!!) or lack thereof, and support for gay marriage.

These ultra right-wing fundamentalists have once again overextended their reach, even for them! This is yet another set of useless Neanderthals who need to crawl in a fucking hole and die! James Dobson, Fred Phelps, Lou Sheldon, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Gary Bauer, damn what a bunch of ugly, pathetic losers! Between their immovable opposition to gay rights and reproductive rights, I am forever reminded of George Carlin’s observation: “Doesn’t it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?”

Hell, I want to go a MAJOR step further: Let’s round up all of these hypocritical moralists, lock them up in one big cell, and then have a 6’8’ black man (these motherfuckers are all homophobes and misogynists, so it’s practically an iron clad guarantee they are racists as well!) with a 15” dick fuck them all in the ass till their hemorrhoids have hemorrhoids! We’ll put it on cable TV with a 24 hour loop-feed, and call it “Pay Per Screw!” Oh, won’t Karl Rove just LOVE that?? And maybe even extend it to an ongoing reality show with the TV audience betting on which defrocked (defucked?) preacher will become Bruno’s Bitch in prison! Oh, the possibilities are endless! Let’s fax and e-mail our suggestions to FOX and watch Sean Hannity’s blood boil! Boo-yah!